Culture Shock Included

One would think that with all the travelling I have done in the past that I would be used to the differences between here (wherever here is) and there (wherever there is), but I'm not.  It started in Trinidad.  The year was 2002 and I was on a "worship" focused mission trip.  I was there for 10 days, but during those days my life changed forever.  I realized then that I was humbled that God would choose to use me and blessed that God would choose to use me.  Humbled and Blessed.  Those two words have stuck in my mind a lot lately.

In leaving Trinidad that first time, I experienced reverse culture shock for the first time.  I became angry and bitter and didn't know why.  I was angry at myself, angry at my culture, angry that I had to leave a culture and people I had come to know a little bit a love a lot.  For the next six months I struggled with this.  Since then I have been serving in several different cultures for a variety of time periods.  For some reason, the coming and going doesn't get easier with time.

I've been in the states for just under a month now.  I am heading back to Haiti in exactly two weeks.  Even though I have only been here a short time, culture shock is in full swing.  Not so much anger this time, but confusion.  My two worlds and homes are different.  I love them both.  My heart aches to be in Haiti, then my heart aches when I think about leaving my family.  Both homes feel normal to me and loving and welcoming.

God has called me to a different life with culture shock included.  I know that God will continue to give me the strength to face the different aspects of culture shock.  He didn't say that this life would be easy, but being in the center of His will is so worth it.  God is always with me, no matter where I go.  He can do all things, even when I can't.

What a blessing to know all these truths!  I can't wait to see what He has planned for me in the next two weeks and when I return to Haiti!  He is at work.  I know He is great!

God will Provide.

My grandfather passed away almost four months ago now.  He was a great man of prayer and had an unshakable faith.  He had some tough times in the last 10 years of his life.  He lost his wife, Carol, to cancer, he had heart surgery a few months later, and finally he had pulmonary fibrosis which claimed his life.  His faith--he never lost that.

The Sunday before he went to be with the Lord, I went to visit him.  We talked about the sermon that morning, about my upcoming trip to Colorado, and about my ministry.  I was back in the states for a couple of months and I was really struggling with culture shock and wrapping my mind around what it looks like to be a missionary on stateside for a while.

One of the things I remember most about that conversation involved support.  Grandpa asked me how my support raising was going.  I answered with this:  "It's difficult...but I know God will provide...somehow?"  Grandpa looked at me very seriously and told me that I had to get rid of the "somehow" and "question mark" in my sentence.  I need to be confident in this:  God WILL provide.

Since then, God has continued to prove Himself faithful and my grandpa's advice stays with me.  I remember that God WILL provide for every need--every day.  I just have to remember to trust in the Lord and have unshakable faith like Grandpa.  And know.  God will provide.